January 2012
23 posts
Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!: State of the... →
patrickcassels: President Obama’s State of the Union address was this week, and the New York Times compiled one of those cool word clouds counting the number of times he said certain words and phrases. It’s really illuminating. Check it out! “Economy” - 221 “Global warming” - 5 “Recession” - 3 …
Jan 28th
40 notes
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patrickcassels: jeffrubinjeffrubin: Obama singing, pre-autotune This is my singing voice. It’s also what I sounded like in jr. high.
Jan 24th
76 notes
Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!: Seal and Heidi... →
patrickcassels: Seal and Heidi Klum are getting a divorce. I saw Seal in Whole Foods this weekend and this court document fell out of his bluejeans. It divides their assets. Turns out they have the same normal ol’ relationship problems the rest of us do. Here’s who gets what! Heidi Klum -…
Jan 24th
27 notes
Jan 24th
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Future Janet Evanovich Paperbacks If Janet...
patrickcassels: Nightly Nineteen Terrible Twenty Fearsome Forty  Sizzlin’ Seven Hundred Thousand Trail-blazin’ Trillion Quaint Quadrillion Sexy Sexdecillion Sizzlin’ Centillion Tricky 10108.852142×1033 Grippin’ Googolplex Sizzlin’ Skewes Number Naughty “Numbers Have Become Meaningless” Sizzlin’ “We Know the Mind of God Now”
Jan 22nd
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Jan 21st
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patrickcassels: Here’s me trying to survive Chris’s “Night of Zero Laughs” and failing miserably.
Jan 20th
17 notes
Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!: A 100%... →
patrickcassels: The horse from War Horse and the ape from Rise of the Apes enter a dirt arena. The gates shut. They look into each other’s ape/horse eyes. Animal nature takes over and they somehow realize exactly why they’ve been brought there, and accept it. They charge. The ape from Rise of the Apes…
Jan 18th
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Jan 18th
92 notes
Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!: EXCLUSIVE... →
patrickcassels: Me: Uggie! You stole the spotlight at this weekend’s Golden Globes ceremony. Are you into the whole glitz of Hollywood, or do you dread award shows like these? Uggie: Bark. Me: OUTSTANDING. Dame Judy Dench says she keeps her Golden Globe in her bathroom. Is Uggie also going to keep his…
Jan 18th
35 notes
Who is Alex Watt?: My life is stupid and... →
patrickcassels: alexwatt: My life is stupid and embarrassing, so I think I’m going to start writing about the really lame stuff like it’s part of a cool novel. “I can just hold it like a football,” he said as he cradled the sandwich in his long, simian arm—knocking a bottled beverage from the delicate hand of the woman… Cool idea. Looking forward to the next installment!
Jan 18th
25 notes
Who is Alex Watt?: My life is stupid and... →
patrickcassels: alexwatt: My life is stupid and embarrassing, so I think I’m going to start writing about the really lame stuff like it’s part of a cool novel. “I can just hold it like a football,” he said as he cradled the sandwich in his long, simian arm—knocking a bottled beverage from the delicate hand of the woman… Cool idea. Looking forward to the next installment!
Jan 18th
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Jan 17th
53 notes
Things Q From "Star Trek: The Next Generation"...
patrickcassels: Picard’s pathetic care for his crew Data’s absurd desire to feel emotion Worf’s puny mortal brain Geordi’s laughable obsession with trinkets Dr. Crusher’s insignificant quest to preserve human life Riker’s beard
Jan 16th
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Jan 13th
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Jan 9th
49 notes
Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!: Tasteful Ways... →
patrickcassels: People think “Downton Abbey” is too classy to do nudity. But if done tastefully the show totally could. Here are some respectful topless scenes I thought up. I spent a long time on these! William the footman mistakes Lady Sybil’s room for the Earl’s and walks in on Sybil changing for dinner….
Jan 9th
51 notes
"Improv Everywhere Volume Four"
patrickcassels: I’m in the “Mute Button” and “Carousel Horse Race” stunts on the new Improv Everywhere DVD, both times screaming like a crazy person. You can order it at the Improv Everywhere website.
Jan 9th
10 notes
Patrick Cassels: Internet Enthusiast: Letter to... →
patrickcassels: When I’m shooting an episode of “Hardly Working” and have to act like I’m typing I usually do type random, weird letters. I did this one today! Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about a very unpleasant experience I had while visiting one of your Motel 6’s in Des Moines Iowa this…
Jan 7th
195 notes
Patrick Cassels: Internet Enthusiast: Billy... →
patrickcassels: I guess I go to the same Crunch as Billy Crystal, because I found his script for this year’s Oscar telecast on the locker room floor this morning. I can’t believe it happened, either. Anyway, check it out. It sounds like it’s gonna be a really fun night! (2 minutes) Opening montage:…
Jan 6th
43 notes
30 Things Data From "Star Trek: The Next...
patrickcassels: Winking Whistling Handshakes Jazz Sarcasm Birthday cakes Jogging Wearing your hat backwards French kissing Pizza Sneaking Yo-yos Brunch Bow ties Puzzles Cartwheels Rap Guessing The thumbs up gesture Urinals Skipping Nature Baseball Soap operas Bluejeans The circus Waffles Daydreams Tank tops The phrase “See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya”
Jan 4th
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Jan 4th
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Jan 3rd
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December 2011
18 posts
Dec 31st
9 notes
Dec 31st
31 notes
Dec 28th
23 notes
"Did you read, uh, that 'Portlandia' piece in the... →
patrickcassels: Okay, recommending a New Yorker article is itself something the citizens of “Portlandia” would do, but if you’re a fan of the show (as I am) it’s a great read. Here’s one of the best parts: Brownstein likes to say that “Portlandia” is an affectionate portrait of the city where she has lived for the past decade. The warmth is not in the writing, which leans toward the acerbic, but...
Dec 28th
23 notes
Dec 19th
3 notes
Dec 19th
3 notes
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patrickcassels: Watch this sketch! Partly because it’s really funny, but mostly because Streeter Seidell hates it when people see him with a goatee.
Dec 19th
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Dec 19th
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Dec 19th
45 notes
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patrickcassels: New episode of Hardly Working on CollegeHumor today. Thinking of changing my name to “Kenneth G. Goat.”
Dec 16th
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Dec 14th
10 notes
Dec 7th
24 notes
Dec 7th
3,711 notes
Dec 7th
56 notes
Dec 7th
1,049 notes
Dec 4th
14 notes
Dec 3rd
61 notes
“You’re repulsed by the shit AND by the smell of the shit.”
– Dan and I directed voice-overs for a cartoon today. This was the note we gave the actors the most. (via patrickcassels)
Dec 2nd
15 notes
November 2011
17 posts
Guys! and Gals!
I have a personal blog… Lancaster!  And I also have a photo blog. Pictures! Just so you guys know! I promise I will start posting more Pat stuff soon! and not just reblogs of his posts…
Nov 29th
1 note
Is anyone else loving the fact that Pat has been...
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
114 notes
Patrick Cassels: Internet Enthusiast: Check out... →
patrickcassels: Check out this late review of HBO’s offbeat sitcom Enlightened that Salon published today. It’s great! One of the best pieces of TV criticism I’ve read this season. Like most good criticism, it perfectly summarizes the previously intangible reasons something is unique (and, in the case of Enlightened
Nov 29th
8 notes
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patrickcassels: BBM Roulette. A game show I co-hosted with Dan Gurewich for BlackBerry. Invasion of privacy has never been funnier!
Nov 28th
7 notes
4 tags
Nov 28th
3 notes
Nov 28th
36 notes
WatchWatch
patrickcassels: samreich: Even at the age of 12, my sense of humor was already very refined. This is amazing. Sam, what was your goal with the scissors and the light? It looks like you were trying to time them in some way.
Nov 20th
95 notes
Nov 19th